We Chose
by BendingDreams
Summary: The war has been over for six long years and its time for the Fire Nation's Royal Wedding. Everyone has gathered again to celebrate... "We chose this together. Together. That's what I told myself to numb the pain."
1. Chapter 1

Disclaimer: I own squat.

This story is all from Katara's POV except for one section that is indicated.

A/N: A HUGE thank you to PeanutButter123 for being the Beta for this!

* * *

We chose this together. _Together_. That's what I told myself to numb the pain. That it was the last thing that only you and I did,  together.

 _We chose this._ Was the mantra that echoed through my mind…and my heart as I walked along side my father down the aisle, in your mother's garden that we had made our own.

 _We chose this._ And you don't even have the courage to look at me in the eyes as you stand there at the alter. _Coward_. Father squeezed my arm that was hooked in the crook of his. It was only then that I noticed my hands were in fists around his robe and my dress. Breathing deeply I released my grip.

I don't want to look at you. I don't want to see your face when the horns and drums start their rhythm. _Why Tui can I not look away?_

You were beautiful standing there. You will always be beautiful to me. They saw the Fire Lord. I saw my heart.

Father and I finally reached our place. Uncle came up and gave me a hug. His smile was one of joy but all I saw was the sadness in his eyes as he squeezed my shoulders. I smiled in return. No words were needed. For all he saw was the shattered pieces of my soul left behind. No one knew the wiser. I looked like I was blissfully happy. But those who knew me…knew _us_ saw the truth.

We, your family sat in the front row. I settled in between Toph and Suki. We didn't even look at one another. Both of them took each of my hands in their own as we sat there under the shade of our tree. All that was left to do was wait.

I had to remind myself to breathe. _In out. In out_. I closed my eyes and there we were.

* * *

 _I was sitting against its trunk with my legs stretched out staring passed the turtle duck pond. My red and pink ombre dress spread across the spring grass. I heard footsteps on the stone path. I knew it was you before I looked up. And when I did the smiling man before me stole the breath from my chest. You tucked a fire lily behind my ear, as I leaned into your hand that was holding my cheek. It was these thoughtful gestures that always left me in awe of the man that I was the only one fortunate enough to see._

 _I wanted to be forever irrevocably yours and only yours in every way. You gave all of yourself so completely, so freely to me, with no expectations or demands. I was the guardian of the most precious gift, your heart. There would be times when I would ask myself if I was truly worthy of such a treasure. Because that is what you were to me._

 _You sighed as you proceeded to take off your boots and shrugged out of that_ _heavy crimson robe you had to wear to counsel meetings. You always_ _did. By taking that robe off you were free to be just a man in that moment, not the leader of your nation. How I wish I could hear that sound again._

I opened my eyes right as the horn blew. You looked up. But it was my eyes that yours met first. Not the statue of a woman being brought to stand beside you. For a fleeting moment I felt like I won a small victory. As to what, I don't know. The only prize I was given was the look in your eyes. For they were the same as mine. Both dulling permanently. _Take it back, I don't want it._ Then the unbearable pain crashed over me. Again. _No_. _We chose this_. _You don't get to look like me. Your life was moving forward while I was just passing through mine._

* * *

When your gaze changed to the pale, ink black hair woman walking to stand where we planned I would be, my hands started to tremble. Sukki rubbed the top of my hand while Toph tightened her grip on the other and leaned her head on my shoulder. They were my only life lines.

I closed my eyes again.

* * *

 _You had just tossed your formal robe on the grass like it was nothing. You sat next to me and laid your head in my lap. I looked down. Our eyes gazed into each other's souls. In that brief perfect speck of infinity we said everything we needed to in utter silence. You took my hand and kissed my palm. I felt the flush rising in my cheeks, just like every other time our bodies touched._

 _I placed my lips to your forehead before I made work of removing your crown and undoing your topknot. I felt your gaze as I ran my fingers through your hair. I prayed that we could stay in that moment forever._

" _Agni, Katara you are beautiful" you whispered to me._

" _I love you" was my reply._

* * *

If those were the only words I could say for the rest of my days, I would ardently say them with each breath I breathed, as long as I was looking at you, when they left my lips. That was the last time I was in this place, our place. It became our oasis from our duties, from your counsel, nobles and the world. It was just us, Zuko the man I loved for everything that you are, and me, Katara just the woman who held your heart.

 _I will never set foot here again. Ever. In this life or the next, Spirits be damned, yelled the voice on my head._

I couldn't bear to watch the ceremony, I wished I was Toph. I wanted to scream when I heard the Fire Sage begin your wedding ceremony… and my last rights. I felt like I was watching my own funeral. I shut the outside world around me out. I concentrated on the sound of my heart instead. Thump. Thump-thump...thump… ….Thump. Over and over.

The shout of the sage brought me out of my escape. "All hail Fire Lord Zuko and Fire Lady Mai".

I lost a beat in the rhythm of heart that day, it never beat the same again. From the corner of my eye I saw Toph look up at me. I knew she felt it too.

Our family, Sokka, Suki, Toph, Aang, Uncle and my father, were the only ones who saw my unshed tears. I was not about to let those spiteful nobles take anything else from me. Not ever.

I glared out beyond who was in front of me. I felt your gaze bearing down on me. I refused to meet those deep amber eyes that haunted me every night since I left a year ago.

Our family with the exception of Uncle were the last to leave the garden before we were ushered to the ballroom for yours and Mai's wedding celebration.

I stood straight. I held my head high. _I won't let them break me…at least in front of them._ Deep down I already knew I was broken. I knew that I would never be whole again.

Dad walked with Aang. Sokka escorted Suki. Toph and I enter locked arms. It felt like a death march.

As we marched I glanced at the corridor that lead to the Royal Family Wing. I closed my eyes letting Toph guide me with the others.

We fought the last time I was there in your rooms. We were screaming. Not at each other, but more out of pure anguish.

* * *

" _I don't give a damn Katara. I want you! I want you to be at my side. I want to be at yours! They cannot tell me who to marry!"_

" _Well it sure as hell seems like they just did Zuko!"_

" _I don't care!"_

 _If we weren't screaming I know we would have been sobbing._

" _You need them. I know it. You know it. Fuck they even know it! Whether we like or not. You heard them they will not support our union. We don't have a choice!"_

" _I love you Katara. I want you to be my wife. I want to watch your belly grow with our children. I want you!"_

 _That's when I lost it. I fell to the floor tears raining from my eyes. You rushed to my side engulfing me in your embrace, you too had salty water streaming down your beautiful face. You placed soft kisses on my head._

 _"Tara, please. Please don't cry. I will find a way. We will find a way. I love you. Only you. You are my everything. Please. Shh...shh everything will work out."_

 _Between sobs and gasps of air, "I want that more than anything I have ever wanted before. I dreamed of falling asleep in your arms and waking to your warmth until my last breath. I want you to be the father of my children. I don't want to leave, but..."_

" _NO!"_

" _Would you be able to bare watching my betrothed move in here? Listen to the gossip? See my wedding and future with another man all planned out before you? Could you do it? Could you?! Well I can't and I won't! It's best that I leave on the next ship to, to hell I don't care as long as I am not here!"_

" _So that's it you are giving up? On us?"_

" _Zuko we have tried for years to get them to accept. Five long wonderful years that I have been blessed to share with you. You cannot ask me to stay here. It will kill me."_

" _I know. I know. I…I…Uncle we can send for Uncle!"_

" _He's tried!"_

" _But things are different! The world is different. My people love you so they will accept us!"_

 _It tore me apart to vanquish any hope that you were fighting for._

" _I can't stay here. Its' more than I can take."_

" _Please give me a year to get out of this!"_

" _No." I said flatly. By the look on your face you were quite taken back. So was I. I was already starting to harden. I knew that somethings would take more than six years to fix when it took a hundred to end a meaningless war._

" _No?...you can't mean that?!"_

" _It's because I love you with all that I am that I have to leave."_

 _I slipped out of your chambers. Out of your arms. Out of your reach and away from the sound of your heart blasting into oblivion._

 _"I'm leaving tonight" I said to myself._

 _I locked my chamber doors and gathered what I needed. I left before the sun rose above the horizon. I couldn't face you. I was a coward._

 _I pulled the hood of my cloak over my head as I began to pace down the on the outer side of the palace wall hiding among the shadows._

" _KATAAARRRRAAAAAA!"_

 _I knew you found the letter on my pillow, on my still made bed. My characters were sloppy from my shaking limbs and my tears stained the parchment._

 _Fire Lord Zuko,_

 _Please accept this as my formal resignation of my position as the Southern Water Tribe Ambassador in the Fire Nation. I have already taken the liberty to send a message to inform my father. My replacement should arrive within the month. I will leave all further correspondence regarding this matter between you and my father, Chief Hakoda of the Southern Water Tribe._

… _Zuko, we knew this was always a possibility. We chose this. I cannot stay, you know my reasons. Like I cannot look into the eyes of the man who has the other half of me, my body, my mind, my heart, my spirit, and say 'Good-bye'. Perhaps in another life the spirits will be kinder to us, instead of teasing us with these past five years._

 _Do not come after me. For even I do not know where the tides will pull me. I need to learn how to breathe again. Maybe I will be able to learn how to live again. Destiny can be a cruel mistress. We are the evidence of her wrath._

 _We chose this._

 _~Katara_

 _I wanted to be selfish. I wanted to you ask you to choose me and leave your birthright, your people, most of all them. But couldn't and I would never put you in that position._

* * *

The ballroom was breathtaking. I stood in the far back corner trying to become invisible. The others were trying to be happy for you. They were all polite, formal and cold as they made their way through all your guests. Even Sokka did not make any attempt to eat more than was necessary to not be rude.

The air was stiff and screamed of political gain. I thought of what ours would have been like. I know that this room would have been filled with music, laughter, our family, friends, and most of all love. Our love. It would have been our love that spread throughout this room, though the entire palace, through all of our nation. Our kind of love could have radiated through the world. I didn't know that it was possible to hurt more than I already did.

 _This is how it must feel like to die a hundred deaths, cried the voice in my head._

Our family made it possible for me to avoid having to face you. For that I will be forever indebted to them. Watching you and your new wife greet your guests since I took my vigil, you never once smiled. You were constantly scanning the room. Your face appeared partial. But your eyes were on a hunt for something lost. When Uncle announced that it was time for you to share your first dance as now man and wife, it was physically impossible for me. I was suffocating on the air all around me.

I sank even further into the wall that was bracing me from falling. I tore my eyes away from the center of the room to the vision in my head.

* * *

 _"Tara dance with me?" you asked me on our annual trip to Ember Island._

 _We were standing at the edge of the crowd watching the others in attendance move around the plaza square._

 _"Zuko, you do not like to dance unless you have to."_

 _"I know. That's why I asked you."_

 _I tilted my head your way and raised my brow._

 _"I_ _ **have**_ _to watch your body move to the music. I_ _ **have**_ _to feel your body move in tune with mine. I_ _ **have**_ _to get lost in your captivating eyes. So as far as I'm concerned I do not have the option not to." you whispered into my ear. There was so much passion and conviction in your voice. My face started to glow. My stomach was all a flutter. I thought for sure that the crowd could hear my heart in my chest._

 _I took your out reached hand to lead me to square. The crowds parted for us as if Tui himself parted the sea. I heard Toph whistle our way and shout out some obscene choice of words. As we stood before one another, you placed a chaste kiss on my hand never letting the outside world interfere with the space between our eyes. Unexpectedly you twirled me around leading me right into your arms. You were so impressed with yourself and couldn't hide your smirk. I couldn't help but blush and giggle as I tossed my head back._

 _We danced until the finale song was played and the crowd dispersed. I started to walk towards our group then I felt a tug on my hand. I was pulled back into your chest and you started to sway with me in your arms._

 _"The music has ended, Zuko. Shouldn't we catch up with everyone?"_

 _You answered me with a shake of your head and your lips on mine, intense with passion and gentle as a summers' breeze, the kind that always made my knees weak. I laid my head on your chest and you rested yours on top of mine. You began to hum your mother's favorite song. And we danced. We danced under the stars under Yue's light. We danced all throughout the night. In our room, on our bed, and in my dreams when sleep finally consumed us._

 _The next morning I woke up entangled in you. You were pushing my hair out of my face and traced the side of my cheek. I didn't need to open my eyes to know you were watching me sleep. I kept them closed, smiled and buried myself closer to your bare chest. You hugged me tight then tilted my chin so our eyes would meet. I felt my eyelids slowly open. It never got old, us silently staring into each other._

 _"Thank you, Tara for loving me. Thank you for teaching me what love is. Thank you for teaching me how to love. I will love you with all that I am until this life claims me and into the next."_

 _"Isn't it I who should be thanking you? Zuko I will love you for as long as the sun continues to rise each morning and as long as the moon rises each night."_

 _Then we continued to dance until our bodies trembled from our love._

 _That was the last time I was in our room, in your beach house, and on Ember Island._

* * *

Finally. An escape. The guests that were occupying the balcony finally left. I slithered my way to freedom on the far end furthest from the doors. Most importantly, out of sight. I hung my head as I gripped the rail turning my knuckles an unnatural shade of white.

I looked up to Yue. Pleading for her to help me get through this night. Letting my eye lids fall I tried to recall how I got to this exact moment.

My first thoughts were of Sokka and I penguin sledding. To the day I lost my mother forever then losing my father to the war. Single tears slowly escaped. I then thought of the day I freed a twelve year boy from his ice tomb, then you first entered my life.

Flash backs of the siege of the north, losing Yue, pirates, scrolls and trees. My mind shifted to you in Ba Sing Se, to you joining the gang, you helping to free my father, you helping me find closer with my mother's killer, to you taking Azula's lightening for me. To us telling everyone about our feelings. When Aang finally accepted us. To all the moments in our, no your garden _now_. The first time you told me you loved me. To the first time you made love to me. To you. My memories all seemed to lead back to you.

To you returning to your chambers with your council's decision.

Then I left. My tears were no longer slow they were fluid as my bending and as fierce as yours.

I didn't even hear Toph and Suki come up behind me wrapping their arms around me. They all tried to comfort me as best as they could. I let them. Nothing helped. No one helped.

"Tara we can go. Let's bust out of this joint. This party sucks rocks anyway" Toph said sounding as tough as she could.

"Yeah the guys already said they will cover for us" Suki followed.

…Silence.

"I haven't seen or spoke to him in a year! I left, just left. I couldn't even gather the strength to say good-bye. I didn't even tell him I loved him."

"He knew, you didn't have to say it" replied Suki.

"But I should have. I never regretted anything before and now with each passing day I find there is one more thing that I wish I would have said or did!" I hissed.

They just held me closer.

"He will never know how much I miss the way he held me a night. How I would lay on his chest while he ran his fingers through my hair. The beat of his heart. The heat of his breath on my neck. How he would whisper sweet nothings into my ear. How we would lay out in the grass of our garden planning and dreaming of a future that will never come to pass. Our wedding. Our children. Our lives. How I remember every single glance and smirk he gave me throughout the day when he thought no one was looking. Every single moment we shared together. The bad, the amazing and all the ones in between. Every single damn one is scorched into my memory and haunts me every night….how much I loved him… How much… I still do" my last words just above a whisper.

I started shaking. All of the pain and love rising like a tsunami.

"Toph go get them" Suki whispered over my shoulder.

I knew she was talking about Aang and my brother. But I couldn't let them see me like this. I refused. As soon as I heard Toph leave I whispered, "Suki, please forgive me, but I can't".

I froze her in her spot before she could blink. I knew she wouldn't scream and cause a scene.

I tore the sides of my dress so I had more movement.

(General POV)

Zuko noticed Toph's manic expression as she ran up to Aang and _her_ brother. The men's expressions turned from placid to horrid panic with each word Toph whispered into their ears.

Mai squeezed Zuko's hand, getting his attention and looked up at her husband, "go" she mouthed to him.

His body responded before his thoughts processed the situation. When his three friends ran towards the balcony doors, he knew. He changed his trajectory from where they were standing to where they were now heading.

They were too late. Suki was frozen at her feet, tears streaming down her face. Horror washed over them as if Koh himself came. Zuko ran up and placed a death grip on the balcony rail. The last thing they saw was a shadow disappear into the abyss. Her words floating on the nights' breeze.

"We chose" were my last words as I leapt of the edge landing on the stone cold floor.

For the second time I just left.

His voice broke through the night. My name was the last thing I heard.

"KATAAARRRRRAAAAA!"

 _We chose_. I told myself as I let the shadows of the night sweep me away.

 _We chose._

* * *

A/N: So what do you think? Should I leave it as a one shot or continue? Thanks for taking the time to read this :)


	2. Chapter 2

A/N: First of all I would like to thank all of you who have taken your time to read this. Thanks to the kind and encouraging words from PeanutButter123(who also is the Beta for this), MissZuko, PurpleSkillz, Catalina Dressing, and FourSeasonsFourloves, that has led me to continue this once one shot. This chapter is dedicated to you guys!

Next I would like to point out that this chapter is from Zuko's POV on his wedding day close to the same timing as Katara's from chapter1.

* * *

The last time I felt this uncertain was when I told _her_ that my feelings for her were more than just friendship. I praised the spirits when she told me she felt the same way too. Six years has gone by.

The man staring back at me was not the man I wished I was. I was not on the path I wanted to be on. I want the path that we dreamed of in my mother's garden that we had made our own.

For the first time since my banishment I really felt weak.

 _I should have fought them harder. Tried longer. I should have gone after her… "We chose" she said. No, she left…Maybe she won't come. I thought._

The air around me was thick with regret and I was choking on my pain. I began to pull at the collar of my deep crimson, death robes. I should be in white. _I am dead walking among the living._ I have been a shell of the man I used to be since the night I found her letter. I held the precious stone around my neck and closed my eyes.

* * *

 _I had just returned from my council with their final decision. Just when I thought everything was perfect, I had never been happier in my entire life. With a single word from them my world began to collapse._

" _It's because I love you with that I am that I have to leave." That was the last time I heard your voice._

 _Your words and your next actions were more powerful than Azula's lightning. I couldn't move. The connection between my will and my body was severed._

 _You pulled yourself out of my arms. Turned around and walked out on me. On our lives. On us. You left my chambers with silent tears still flowing._

 _Your love was my sun and my moon that brought light into my darkness and chased away the shadows of my past. Your last words became the ammunition and the sound of my doors closing behind you was the trigger that imploded my heart. It turned it into a black hole that sucked in my sun and moon letting my shadows consume me in darkness._

 _I continued to kneel on the floor where we were. It was the last time I held you. The last time I saw your eyes. The last time I felt your heart beat. It was the last time I felt alive. How could a single moment be filled with so many lasts?_

 _It seemed like an eternity before I was able to stand on my uneasy legs and will my body to follow my command. Something inside of me told me to go to you. The closer I got to your doors the colder my surroundings became._

 _I knocked. No response. Not from your ladies in waiting. Not from you. I pounded on the wood with closed fists._

 _Nothing._

 _Fear and panic rose from the pit of my stomach to the ache in my chest. I turned the handle. It was locked. "Shit" I swore under my breath. All logic and reason abandoned, I kicked your door in to find only darkness._

" _Please Agni. No!" screamed the voice in my head._

 _The little light that did guide me to your bed was from the moon peering in through your open balcony doors. I was hoping to find you beneath the layers of your bed. I lit the candle on the table that was beside it. To my horror I found your bed untouched and cold._

 _Then I found it. A roll of parchment tied with your mother's necklace._

 _I knew you were gone._

 _I can't recall when my tears started to come again. With unsteadied hands I lifted my death certificate from your pillow and untied your last gift to me._

 _I read the first line._

Fire Lord Zuko…

 _I fell to my knees, wiping away my tears. "Please, no, Tara" I said to myself. Furiously blinking I continued to read._

Please accept this as my formal resignation of my position as the Southern Water Tribe Ambassador in the Fire Nation. I have already taken the liberty to send a message to inform my father. My replacement should arrive within the month. I will leave all further correspondence regarding this matter between you and my father, Chief Hakoda of the Southern Water Tribe.

" _NO! This can't be happening!" that voice inside of me screamed._

…Zuko, we knew this was always a possibility. We chose this. I cannot stay, you know my reasons. Like I cannot look into the eyes of the man who has the other half of me, my body, my mind, my heart, my spirit, and say 'Good-bye'. Perhaps in another life the spirits will be kinder to us, instead of teasing us with these past five years.

Do not come after me. For even I do not know where the tides will pull me. I need to learn how to breathe again. Maybe I will be able to learn how to live again. Destiney can be a cruel mistress. We are the evidence of her wrath.

We chose this.

~Katara

" _This is a nightmare! Wake up Zuko! This can't be real! It can't be! Wake up you fool!" the voice screamed again._

 _But it was not a nightmare nor hallucination. It was now my reality._

 _I lit the fireplace and the remaining candles with a feral ferocity. Everything was still in its place. All of your things. Then it hit me like, Toph's fist to my gut, to look in your hidden trunk behind your wardrobe._

" _No" I gasped._

 _Your old travelling bag along with the dagger I had commissioned for you, your extra set of traveling clothes, your black shinobi, your black gappa with zukin and bag of money were all gone. All of it gone. Gone with you._

 _Clutching your letter and necklace in my hand I ran out onto your balcony._

 _"KATAAARRRRAAAAAA!" I screamed as hard as I could into the night._

 _You left._

 _You took more than what was in your trunk with you. Will you ever know?_

 _You took my partner. My best friend. You took my life. You took the person I would give anything for. The one I would die for. You left and took all of me with you. You leaving was far worse for me than the realization that I had when I woke up as a child learning my own mother was gone._

 _I ordered your rooms sealed. No one would enter them again._

 _I would never enter them again._

 _I knew better than to hope that you would return but, it was my last sliver that kept me breathing._

 _That was the last time I was in you room._

* * *

The knock on my chamber doors brought me back to my unbearable reality. I tucked my most priceless possession back under my robes, close to my heart.

"Enter"

"Ahh, my nephew. It is time." Uncle's voice was full of remorse.

"How can I marry someone other than _**her**_?"

He took me into his arms. I laid my head on his shoulder like I did as a child. My arms limp at my side lifeless.

"Katara loved you enough to let you go. She wouldn't ask you to choose even as much as she may have wanted to. You both have sacrificed for the continued peace of this world. For your nation and people that she too loved as her own. There is no doubt in that she would have made the best partner, wife, mother, and Fire Lady. Do not let her sacrifice be in vain. We do not know what tomorrow will bring. Let us get through this day. I am so proud of you, Zuko. Of the man you have become and as the ruler of our nation. I love you my son."

"You have always been a father to me. I will be forever grateful for your presence in my life. I love you too…I just don't know what I am supposed to do. My mind knows what I have to do right now, but my heart is telling me to go after her." My voice was no longer strong or commanding. It was shaky, hesitant, and broken. Because that is what I was. Broken.

It took all of my strength not to break down. The muscles around my chest were constricting the bones that supported them. My air passages began to narrow. It was harder to breathe by the second. My legs were losing their ability to support my weight.

"Are they...is _she_...?"

Uncle held my shoulders so we were now looking at each other.

"Yes, they are _**all**_ here."

He must have seen my thoughts swirl in my head. _Here? My Tara is here! Oh, Agni! I can't do this. I can't face her, our family. I haven't spoken to anyone except Hakoda, Aang and Toph and they would never mention her… What do I say to Sokka? I promised him that I would never hurt his sister and know I am marrying someone else, my friend. Tara's friend. FUCK! And none of them know and I can't even tell them…_

"Zuko, this will not be easy but we must go. You are not alone. Most importantly you must remember all is not what it seems and in time this game will end."

I could only nod in response. Uncle turned and I followed him with my deep crimson robes trailing behind me towards our destination…to my funeral prier.

We entered _our_ garden. _The spirits must hate me._ I paused to stare at the bed of fire lilies that lined the edge of the entrance. The last time I picked one for you was the last time we were here. Together.

* * *

 _I just finished my last meeting for the day and I couldn't get to our place fast enough. Something caught my attention as I entered our garden. I never paid attention to the beauty of the world around me, until you. The flower was beautiful. It stood out amongst the others. It reminded me of you._

 _I pulled out my hidden dagger that matched the one I had made for you and cut it long enough to fit behind your ear. I placed my hands behind my back, hiding my token. My boots clunked against the stone path._

 _Rounding the corner there you were. Sitting against our tree with your legs stretched out in front of you. You were wearing that dress you wore during our last trip to Ember Island. The pink and red one that hugged you in all the right places and gracefully flowed around you when you moved. I loved that dress. I couldn't help but smile from ear to ear thinking about that trip. Then you looked up at me. You were breath taking. I knelt beside you cupping your cheek and placed the lily behind your ear. The flower was beautiful but you, my Tara, made it perfect._

* * *

I stayed a step behind uncle as we approached the front row were some of our family sat. Sokka didn't say anything, which is never good, he always has something to say. He held his arm out for a warriors grasp before he took his seat again. Suki gave me an apologetic smile and hug. Toph just shook her head, and very un-Toph like, she embraced me too. Not only could I see the sadness behind her milky green eyes, I felt it to my core. I was thankful that Aang was off to the side talking with Nobleman Cheng.

 _What the hell can they be discussing?_ I forgot that thought as quickly as it came.

I don't know if I could handle him too. You weren't there _yet_. Uncle clasped my shoulder and nodded. I bowed slightly to our family taking my place to be burned.

As soon as I stood and turned to face the crowd you were staring at the fire lilies while your father escorted you to the aisle. You are still as beautiful as the last time we were here. _Together_. I could feel Sokka, Suki, Toph and Aang, who had taken the seat next to his girlfriend, watching me watch you. My first instinct was to look down. If I looked at you I know for a fact that I would have ran to you taking you into my arms. So instead I focused on my breathing and stared at the ground. _We chose… Right?_

* * *

 _It felt so good to take off my boots and formal robe. I sighed as it rolled off of my shoulders before I tossed it on the grass._

 _I laid my head in your lap looking up at you and kissed your palm. I loved how I still was able to make you blush by the simplest of things. I felt your smile as you kissed my forehead. Then you took out my crown, untied my hair and began to run your fingers through it._

 _Agni I loved these moments we shared. We were just a man and a woman in love. You were…are my everything. You made me want to be a better man. A better leader. Everything I did,_ _ **you**_ _were my driving force. I wanted to do all that was in my power to make the world a better and safer place; not only for the nations but selfishly for you and our future children we dreamed of._

 _"Agni, Katara you are beautiful" I whispered to you._

 _"I love you" was your reply._

* * *

The horn blew and pulled me from my memory. When I looked up my eyes found yours first. It was like my subconscious knew where you were. We were always like that. Knowing where the other was. What the other was thinking. We were never perfect, no one is. But we were always in balance. Yin and yang. Tui and La. Push and pull. Fire and water. We. Were. Balance. Why couldn't they see that?

You were sitting between Suki and Toph. Of course I noticed how they were supporting you. Your body was unwavering but your hands were trembling in theirs. The pain and despair in your eyes matched my own. _This is not right! This is not fair!_ I wanted to pull you into my chest and wrap my arms around you to never let you go again. I just wanted to take all your pain away. The life was gone from your eyes and it was killing me even more, so I looked up at the woman my counsel was forcing me to marry. I was a coward.

I was numb as the sage began the ceremony. Mai was not just my friend but she had become yours too over the years. This was also hard for her. She even tried to get out of it and fought for _us_ the year you disappeared. She knew how this was killing us and yet she also sacrificed herself to a loveless, political marriage. I wonder if you will ever know. This was all kinds of fucked up for all of us.

"All hail Fire Lord Zuko and Fire Lady Mai" the sage pronounced.

She and I turned around. I looked at you but you refused to meet me. _Stubborn as always._ We walked out of _our_ garden where  I married another in. I wanted to burn it down. Maybe with it gone some of my memories would fade with time and perhaps the pain. _Yeah right. Who am I kidding. I could never forget a single moment with you, even if the world burned._

Uncle, Mai's parents, and the council walked behind us as we made way to the ballroom for mine and Mai's celebration. I noticed that the rest of our family was last to enter. I could not find you. Probably thanks to our family. I guess I should be grateful. The more I really thought about it I don't know how I would react if we came face to face. I don't know what I could possibly say. If I could even trust myself around you…

Mai and I greeted guests and thanked them for their well wishes, I kept looking out in the mass of people for the pair of electric blue eyes that were deep as the ocean. Those eyes were the only ones that I wanted to see. The ones I saw every time I closed my mine.

Uncle announced it was time for the first dance. Mai and I went to the center of the room. _Where are you? Did you leave? Again?_ As she and I twirled around the dance floor I was looking at her but I was seeing you.

* * *

 _"Tara dance with me?" I asked you on our annual trip to Ember Island._

 _We were standing at the edge of the crowd watching the others in attendance move around the plaza square._

 _"Zuko, you do not like to dance unless you have to."_

 _"I know. That's why I asked you."_

 _You tilted your head my way with a raised brow._

 _"I_ _ **have**_ _to watch your body move to the music. I_ _ **have**_ _to feel your body move in tune with mine. I_ _ **have**_ _to get lost in your captivating eyes. So as far as I'm concerned I do not have the option not to." I whispered into your ear._

 _You took my out reached hand and I led you to the square. The crowds parted for us as if Agni himself commanded it. I heard Toph whistle our way and shout out some obscene choice of words. I knew Aang would ask me later where she learned that! As we stood before one another, I placed a chaste kiss on your hand. There was nothing that could tear my eyes from you. You were not expecting me to twirl you into my arms. I have to admit that I was pretty smooth. I grinned in triumph. You tossed your head back, exposing that spot that I loved to kiss, while you giggled. I love making you make that sound. I love making you make many sounds..._

 _The drums, pipa and tsungi horn filled the air with one of our favorite dances. It started off intensely slow with you circling around me to your right, ever so slightly dragging your feet with each step, with locked eyes and your right hand trailing along my chest, over my shoulders, and back. All the while your left arm hitched up the hem of your skirt just enough to tease me with your smooth toned legs. And your smile. Your smile would be the death of me._

 _When the beat sped up I would dominantly lead you across the floor in swift movements of twists, turns and lifts that left us panting wanting more. The red and pink layered chiffon dress flowed around you like liquid flames. You could make anything look beautiful. But I loved seeing in you in my nations colors the most second to you wearing nothing but me. I loved every hair on your head to every scare that told a story of your honor, courage and strength._

 _We danced until the finale song was played and the crowd dispersed. You started to walk towards our group but I pulled you back into my arms and started to sway our bodies together._

 _"The music has ended, Zuko. Shouldn't we catch up with everyone?"_

 _I answered you with a shake of my head and my lips on yours, hot as my inner fire yet equally as gentle as your healing hands, the kind that always made me never want to stop. I laid my head on top of yours and you rested yours on my shoulder. I began to hum my mother's favorite song. And we danced. Your arms were around my neck holding me to you and mine around your waist._

 _The flames from the hanging lanterns had long been extinguished. Vendors closed up their booths. Families with young ones had returned home. The teenagers had dashed away to whichever after party they were invited too. The little crowd that we did have consisted of our guard, several older couples who I assumed were feeding off of our radiating affection and there were a few without partners watching us with joyous envy wondering when they would find what we have. They all gave us our space. It was always bliss when we were allowed just to be us._

 _We continued to dance under the stars and Yue's light. I loved seeing the gleam in your eyes in the moonlight. They were bewitching and I was gladly under your spell. When the crisp nights air would find a seam where our bodies were not pressed against the other; it would send shivers through my body from the drastic change of temperatures invigorating my senses._

 _It was as if the rest of the world had disappeared and it was only you and I. The pressure of your breasts on me and when you would sway your body I could feel your perfect mounds shift against my chest. You brought out my most carnal desires without even trying and you didn't even know it. You had your own unique fragrance that permeated off of you. It was a mixture of the ocean and water lilies and it intoxicated me far more than any wine. Even after all these years, all that we had endured, you still were able to make me nervous and confident at the same time. I would sweat a little more, my breathing would become erratic, and my heart would pound harder in my chest._

 _Woman what have you done to me!? I asked myself._

 _We danced in our room, on our bed, I feel asleep watching you fall asleep from our euphoric love making, running my fingers through your hair and gracing my fingertips on your bare back._

 _The next morning I woke up with our legs crisscrossed, my arm around you, your head against my shoulder, and your arm holding me across my stomach. You were still peacefully sleeping._

 _Dear Agni, please let me wake like this for the rest of my days, I prayed._

 _I pushed your hair out of your face and traced the side of your cheek. You didn't open your eyes, but I knew you were awake. I love how you would bury yourself even closer into me. I squeezed you tightly then tilted your chin so our eyes would meet. Your eye lids slowly opened exposing their depths. It never got old, us silently staring into each other._

 _"Thank you, Tara for loving me. Thank you for teaching me what love is. Thank you for teaching me how to love. I will love you with all that I am until this life claims me and into the next."_

 _"Isn't it I who should be thanking you? Zuko I will love you for as long as the sun continues to rise each morning and as long as the moon rises each night."_

 _Then we continued to dance until our bodies trembled from our love._

 _That was the last time I was in our room, in my beach house, and on Ember Island._

 _The next time I have to go to Ember Island will be too soon for me. I never want to go back._

 _It was bad enough having to live in the palace and remembering you around every corner, talking with my people who missed your presence, the desk in my office, our garden, and my bed. I am tortured every second, of every minute of every day without you._

* * *

The crowds' applause couldn't cloak the sound of my bleeding heart as I continued to search for you. I noticed Suki and Toph leave Sokka and Aang's sides. They headed to the balcony, which I could only assume that's where you were. My body stiffened a bit more than it already was. Mai noticed it too.

Two nobles and a glass of wine later I stopped breathing as I saw the expression on Toph's face as she headed towards your brother and Aang. My body temperature started to rise while I watched their faces as Toph was whispering something to them. Mai squeezed my hand and I let out the breath that I was holding. She told me to "go." My feet were off heading their way before I could grasp what was happening.

Something was dreadfully wrong. I felt it in what was left of my soul. I was half way to where they were standing before the three broke out into a dead sprint to where I knew you were. I changed paths running to meet them outside. I didn't care what anyone in that room thought. They could think whatever the hell they wanted to.

You froze Suki. You froze her! This is not the Katara I know. I saw a shadow disappear into the night. I heard your voice being carried by the wind. "We chose."

"KATAAARRRRRAAAAA!" I screamed just like I did the night you left. You left again.

Damn it Katara! No. We did NOT choose. You left. I wanted to fight but you left. You left me, twice. YOU LEFT! The voice in my head continued to scream.

My eyes stung from my unshed tears.

Aang melted the water that encased Suki's feet. She then clung desperately to Sokka and Toph held on to Aang her voice cracked as she asked, "What do we do?"

I turned to our family and looked them in their eyes.

"I will not let this happen again. Use the secret passages and wait for me in my room. I will be there as soon as I can."

I left them out there before they could question anything. I just hope that they listen. I found Uncle and Mai and discretely explained to them what was going on. Uncle made the second announcement of the night.

"May I have your attention please? It is now time for the Fire Lord and Lady to retire for the evening. Let us continue to celebrate this joyous occasion. And perhaps with Agni's blessings we will be celebrating the news of an heir to our nation very soon!"

I cringed at the thought of having a child with anyone else but you. Uncle said what needed to be said to keep watchful eyes at bay.

Mai and I left as calmly as we could without raising suspicions. When we reached my chambers, I ordered my guards not to let anyone in for any reason and not to disturb us in the morning either.

We walked inside and locked the doors behind us. We ran through the antechamber to my bedroom. I pushed through the door then Mai closed and locked those as well.

I was bombarded with questions from all of them at the same time. I didn't have time deal with their fears. I had my own. I pulled out my hidden bag with my black shinobi and zurkin. I pulled and yanked my wedding robes off and started to put on my disguise. I didn't give a shit if they were watching me or not.

"Zuko, how?" Sokka asked as he came and stood in front of me pointing to the stone resting on my chest.

I took a deep breath, "Tara left it for me when she left me the first time. I replaced the ribbon with one of my mother's gold chains and I haven't taken it off since. I...I saved your mother's ribbon though." I was now holding your mother's stone in my hand. It was my only physical connection I had to you when you left. I kept it safe, hoping by doing so I was keeping you safe as well.

I cleared my throat, "Listen I need you guys to cover for me if I do not come back by tomorrow night. Mai will help in any way she can. Uncle will be here as soon as he can leave the party. She and Uncle will fill you all in what has been going on the past year. I have a feeling that you all will need to know."

"Zuko you can't just leave. We need to think this through. We need a plan" said Aang.

"Watch me. I have. I don't have time for _Team Avatar_ to map out a plan!" I snapped.

I strapped my twin dao swords to my back and started to make my way to the balcony.

"What the hell are you going to do Sparky?" demanded Toph her arms crossed over her chest.

"I going after her. And I'm bringing her home." I pulled my zurkin over my face and molded my body into the shadows.

 _This time I'm going to choose. My heart declared._

Thanks for reading:) I hope that Toph doesn't seem too OOC. I think that under all of her hard exterior she can be equally vulnerable when it come to the ones that she loves.

* * *

What do you think so far? The dance I was attempting to describe is the beginning of a tango, one of my favs! Any ideas on where Katara has been the past year and what Iroh and Mai have to tell the others? I would love to know what you think! Please leave your thoughts and ideas in a review!

Until next time;p

~BD


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